What motivates me

I was at a job interview recently, adopting for a retail job in South Auckland. One if the questions asked was, what motivates you when you have to do something you don’t like doing. His example was mopping the floors.

I told him that I’m a Christian and that one of the verses I learnt in Sunday school was, whatever your hands find to do, so with all your might.

While this is true, it doesn’t always motivates me or get me up in the morning. I’m not perfect. I still argue with my sister’s and even my mum when they tell me what to do, from simple things like making tea, to big things like trying to tell me how to live my life.

So, what (else) motivates me to keep on keeping on? 

I’ve been studying in NZMA, doing a retail course so I can get a job or already be qualified. But it’s the beginning of the this week of a 20 week course. I was motivated, young at the start but I’m beginning to feel tired, possibly a little bit bored. 

To my left and right, there are people who don’t turn up to class, powwow who suddenly show up, people who have drawn out faces. And there’s a saying or quote that says to surround toward with positive people in order to vs positive. Surround yourself with successful people in order to be successful. But be surrounded by people who resent work and skip class here and there, and you’ll want to do the same thing.

It scared me to think that one day, maybe even tomorrow, I could sleep in late, miss the bus, have no energy to get up, much less dressed and going to school. I could be in a position where I need to catch up and if that happens, then it’ll be like high school all over again. Even though I finished high school, I still sometimes feel like I’ve never really caught up with my peers. What if I feel the same with this course?

So, I ask again, what motivates me?

The core of my Oroville is fear-fear of failing, fear of succeeding, fear of being better than others, fear of making nesters, of missing a step of not being better than others, I’d having everyone around to improve while your either stay the same or you get worse. 

How do I tackle fear? I am obliged to once again involve my religion. I pray to God, I tell him about my fears and worries. And I ask him for help, I pray to him for his guidance, his wisdom, his strength all that when I am tired, I can find rest in him. I can not stress enough to him and myself that I can’t do anything without God who sustains me and who gives me strength.

This doesn’t mean I never get tired, it doesn’t mean I’m never tired or afraid. 

Everyone faces difficulties in their lives and hardships but it is how we deal with them and overcome that is important. 

Yes, I have fear, fear for the future, fear odd what time I’ll wake up tomorrow and will I one day decide that it’s not worth it. 

But fear doesn’t have to consume me and you. Fear can be used for us and turned around. I will not let fear run my life. Instead, I will be even more motivated to succeed, to try my best and be consistent. I will have a positive attitude towards my learning everyday for (at least 17 more weeks). 

What motivates you? What gets you up in the morning? What do you do when it’s not enough?


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