Here are some words that teachers (or anyone) can use when the heat is on and the anger inside you rises up. You don’t want to insult the (annoying, angry-headed, stupid) kid, so instead, you say something that doesn’t offend anyone but they know what you mean. You can teach kids to swear like this too. Well, I mean, it’s best they didn’t know these words but you’d be surprised what they know (and are not supposed to know). This is the better and good alternative for everyone. Well, except for those people who never swear and those on tv.
Good alternatives to F$%# you
- Fidget spinners
- Brussel sprouts
- Tartar Sauce (Credit goes to: Spongebob)
- Honey, ketchup and mustard sauce in a salad
- Sugar, honey, iced tea
- Good lemon squeezers
- Butterflies, caterpillars, and birds
- Losing my marbles when I didn’t have any in the first place because my mother never bought me any
- Hop scotchy kazaam
These alternatives are designed to help teachers and children to not swear, not offend but still vent out their anger when “I feel” statements are not good or expressive enough in the moment of pure rage and anger.
Most of the words are random, but some of them are meant to be silly, so that anger can be replaced by laughter, when you realised that what you just said was ridiculous.
It may seem crazy, but I have this theory that in the heat of the moment, in the utter most intensity of the crisis or whatever, the best thing to do, is to be ridiculous and laugh.
I was teaching my year 1 students maths and they were getting a bit restless. I was embarrassed and angry and was about to tell them that (the angry part), when the number board fell off the table and hit the ground. I got such a shock. Then one of the boys-who-had-been-about-to-get-into-trouble, brightened up and laughed. What could I do but smile back and laugh along. What a fumble! But sometimes, you need that. You need someone to fart, or burp, or tell a ridiculous and off topic story, just to get the funny bone going.
A relaxed class is a fun class and students will more likely be able to get more work done than in an intense classroom environment.