Sri Lanka, terrorists and pure angst

It’s been a week since the Sri Lankan terrorist attack. I’m sorry for being late in publicly condemning this cowardice act of terror. My thoughts and prayers goes out to the families who have been affected. Who haven’t been affected by terrorism?

Terrorist attacks are now more frequent than before. Although I’m still sad, but my reaction has gone from fear and sadness, to great Great anger.

Who do they think they are?

It’s madness, it’s horrible and on all days, it had to be on Easter.

My heart is heavy with sadness, sorrow and a feverish anger. Terrorists must be stopped at all costs. I don’t know what we can do about it but I just wanted to voice out my strong feelings on this.

It grieves me that the world has come to this. All the money, glamour, and Netflix can’t hide away the very big problems that we have. Terrorism, kidnapping, murder, rape, human trafficking and suicide. There are more problems that we have than just this small list. It’s got to stop. I don’t offer solutions but I just want to shout out to someone or something to stop the madness.

Stop.

 

 

 

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Give in order to get

I go on Wattpad infrequently. For a social networking site, it can be pretty quiet. I don’t have a lot of readers or friends there but if there’s ever a story in my head, Wattpad is where I go to write and release them. It’s the safe haven for writers and readers.

On the flip side, there’s a lot more activity when I become a reader, not a writer. Through this, I learned that you’ve got to give in order to get.

My reasons for giving are pretty shallow-I want more readers and followers. I’m giving with the intention of getting something in return. I can’t change this about myself or force myself to not want these petty things.

So what’s the solution?

Stop reading because I’m doing it for the wrong reasons?

The only problem with this is as a writer, I do get something out of reading. After all, if you don’t have the time to read, you don’t have the tools to write.

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But what frustrates me about giving is feeling lonely. Everyone is looking out for themselves. Even saying “Hello” on someone’s wall is always followed by, “please read my book”. They’ll only talk to me if when replying to a comment that I write on their book. When is it my turn to feel the spotlight, the glory, the recognition.

And yet, going undetected can be a good thing. As I’m learning the hard way, I’m not ready to have beta readers. I’m still writing and that’s a long process that takes dedication and intrinsic motivation, not comments and reactions.

Another benefit to giving is that I enjoy the giving. Even as I am frustrated with waiting for my turn that may never come, with waiting for reciprocity that again, might never be realised, I enjoy reading. I’m not reading any stories for the sake of popularity. I’m reading stories that interests me. Stories that are exciting, gripping and turns their own pages.

After I write this post, I’m still going to have my frustrations, my impatience, my loneliness, but I will remind myself that I’ve got to give before I can receive. And truth be told, If I’m not reading a lot, then my writing isn’t going to be so good either.

So, I know this might be cliche, but really, who’s giving who? The reader or the writer?

 

 

 

 

Westboro Baptist church Ep 3.

This is my last blog post on Westboro, at least for now. If you haven’t watched the above video, I suggest you watch it now. Russel brand schools these two men with class, humour and dignity.

My conclusion for this church is that, I’ll try not to hate them or the people. Most of them were raised in that church and so were indoctrinated/brainwashed since a young age. It’s hard to get out of something like that no matter how destructive it can be.

I’m once again surprised, just blown away, by how smart Russel really is and I really must write a transcript of this video one day. He’s not a christian but he’s on point.

I think there isn’t really much to say or maybe there’s so many things that are wrong with this church/cult, that it makes me tired. I can’t be bothered to argue against nonsense. I’ll leave you with this: the command to love God with all your heart, mind and body, is impossible to obey. Just like with all the commandments in the bible, they’re all to show us what God can do that humans can’t. It’s all meant to point us to Jesus, the only one who can do all these things. So, don’t use the bible as an instructions manual on how to live your life. Use it as a book that can draw you closer to a relationship with God.

 

 

Westboro baptist church Ep 2.

If you are a christian or religious person, what are some beliefs/principles that you grew up with? Can you still believe them? If you’re not a christian or religious person, do you have any principles that have now since changed? Let me know in the comments below. Please remember to hit the like button if you liked this post and the follow button if you want my newest posts to be in your news feed.

 

There are so many stories on Youtube of people leaving Westboro cult and starting a new and better life. It’s so heartening that this is possible. My concern is that when these people leave this cult, that they’ll completely forget about God and turn away from finding out about their spirituality. Because there is a God-a real and living God, just not the one that they were bought up to believe.

But it must be hard to be raised up in this kind of dangerous and harmful church, and then find another church. I think it makes sense if people coming from there wouldn’t want to step foot in a church or talk about God ever again. I would feel the same way. Even so, I hope that these people will want to know who God really is, and not what their church have made Him to be.

I don’t have much else to say on Westboro church despite this not being the last blog post on this. I was quite angry and fired up in my last post but this time, I feel utter sadness. I feel sad for Libby and I feel sad for the people who are still trapped in that cult.

In saying this, I’m not perfect either. I wasn’t raised in a cult, but I also need to take a good hard look at the doctrines/dogmas and everything that I believed growing up, and discern whether or not they are true or if I still believe in these things.

This video is short but I am getting a lot of content out of it. First of all, WBC believes that the Sandy hook elementery school’s destruction was brought by God’s judgement.

They are so scared of God’s wrath that it’s no wonder they believe and teach their kids to believe that the world is full of evil people and that there’s no hope.

I’ve lately been contemplating what my life would be like if I didn’t have God and I thought life would suck a lot and there’s be no hope for me or anyone. I believe this because death may be seen as ‘normal’ to most people, but I can’t accept it.

Death can’t be normal. I want there to be more than just this life and there’s no hope that there could be something else, then what kind of life would that look like?

But, even though I personally am dependent on the existence of God, I am starting to see with my own eyes that there’s still hope for evereyone including non-christians and even though we are mortals. It’s a contradiction, I know, but what Libby saw when she left her family, is true.-The world isn’t full of evil people. As much as there’s heartache, pain, sadness and hatred, there’s also joy, laughter, love and peace.

She lives a much happier, independent and freer life but I’m also glad that she’s remorseful, that it still sucks nonetheless to leave her family. I’m not glad of her suffering, but I’m glad because no matter what other people say or think, WBC is made up of one family and if for no one else, they do love each other. They did love her and she loves them. So I guess, I’m glad that there’s still love there even though it somes with pain and maybe a bit of home sickness.

There’s one last thing I’d like to discuss which is on why Libby left WBC. She left due to a close and personal reason which is often how these things work.-why people leave their religion or faith, not just people from WBC. This is once against, love winning out. Her family picketed at her friend’s husband’s funeral (he was in the military). And they also started praying for people to die.

What can counter this?

Love.

Libby left her family and everything she had ever known because of the love she had for her friend and the love she had inside of her. Love helped her to see the flaws, the cracks in the perfect persona of her family and church. Love made her see things differently and because of this, she had no choice but to leave. The people at WBC is smart and sneaky but there’s no law against love and ultimately, that is how we’re going to win.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Same sex attraction and the christian girl Ep 2.

What to do when you’re a Christian lesbian

I think my title is a lot shorter and to the point. It might even lead to a helpful article for lesbian Christians. Not that I’m in a position to give advice. This post is less a response and more an apology. Yes, it is time for yet another apology from me on behalf of Christians but NOT MORMONS. Mormons are their own thing.

I’m sorry, you confused LGBT teenagers

At around10:59 in Jimmy’s video, he points out how there are a lot of dead LGBT teenagers and most of them were conflicted between their sexual identity and orientation, and the religion that they grew up to believe in. He’s responding to a cherry that Girl Defined had picked. (Uh, talking about a bible verse), from 1 Cor 10:3. It’s about how God’s not going to give you anything you can’t handle.

I grew up with this verse and this belief that I won’t ever get any struggles or problems that I couldn’t handle with God. One ‘problem’ I had to handle growing up was not having a dad. He died when I was four. Funny how I remember how old I was when he died. I used to think that God thought I, a four-year-old, was strong because I could ‘handle’ the problem of not having a Dad. That’s some twisted thinking and again, really dangerous as well.

There are people who go through stuff including the death of a parent and also divorce to name another one, without having a relationship with God. Conversely, there are Christians who go to church, who went through divorce and had absolutely no support whatsoever.

What I’m saying is, you don’t need to know God, to be able to go through a tragedy and come out of it alive. Being a Christian and in a church might actually have the opposite effect since church people can be judgemental and “good-intentional” snakes. But maybe God helps and certainly, he helped me since the ‘struggle’ I had to deal with was about death. God certainly helps a little bit with that.

Moving onto my apology to the LGBT people-sorry. While I agree with Jimmy and can’t say that I’m in your shoes, it sucks. People suck and Christians suck and I genuinely hope that, whether or not you’ve been brought up religiously, that you find some sort of peace and self-acceptance with who you are and what you identify yourself to be.

You are special, you are unique, and it gets better.

Now, I know this is a huge jump from the above “it gets better” video, but this next video is to show you, and to everyone, that on some level, I do understand. -only because I’ve been suicidal before (which doesn’t really go away), and as someone who’s been bullied for not being talkative, or not being “alive” enough or even just for the colour of my hair, I want to say to you, that we’re special, unique and different and that’s okay, because we are who we are…You’ll understand after the video

Happy Lunar new year!

I didn’t write a New Year’s post but I’m on time to CNY (Chinese or Lunar new year), and that’s what’s most important. Although technically, 2019 began on October 15th, the day I turned 22.

ANYWAY,

Here are a few changes that I intend to make on my blog:

  1. More of Jesus, less of me

I will be writing more on spirituality instead of on random things that are happening in my life. But I’ll still be random and stuff, just not as often as before.

2. Colours

Should I choose a different look for my blog? I definitely feel like I need a new outlook on life. We’ll see but I’m not paying for anything.

3. Connection

Please! I’m so lonely here! Please do connect with me this year by leaving comments down below. I’m also going to be more annoying by reminding you to follow me if you like my content, and comment if you like…uh…my personality?

And I’m also going to be a reader. It’s not fair on anyone if I only ask for readers and I myself don’t read. Fun fact: I’m ten times more likely to read and comment on your blog if you do the same first. Just saying. And hinting. Wink.

4. Write about what matters

This is similar to the 1st bullet point except that apart from spirituality, I’ll be covering topics that may not personally interest me but my stance and my viewpoints on these topics are important. I compare this to that poem about how the Jews were mistreated and no one did anything and then finally we were mistreated and there was no one left to help us. Yeah, it’s like that. Gotta care about the jews. I’ll see if I can find the original poem because my memory of it is not good enough.

5. Apologies

Lots of apologies are coming your way because of some of my blog posts which advocates on views that I no longer hold. Apologies also, as a Christian. I may not have done anything wrong personally but by calling myself a Christian, I’m partially responsible for all the sh*t that’s out there in the world.

6. You may also see more cussing and slang. I’m letting my hair down this 2019.

I hope I don’t cuss too much because if it’s ‘normal’, then it loses its significance.

So there you have it. 6 changes coming to this blog. I’m excited. I’m happy. I’m cringing and in pain a little bit. Like a massage.

Let’s connect

Attention all bloggers!

Let’s connect 🙂

IF you visit my blog, I would love to return the favour.

I’m always on the lookout for a good and tasty read.

I can visit your blog when you leave a comment. I’m not saying this just to have comments (although I do feel a bit lonely sometimes). I’m saying this because I can click on your name and that will bring me to your website. You could also leave a link to your website in your comments as well.

Thank you all.

PS: Are you looking forward to this year’s Christmas?