Good alternatives to F$%# you

Here are some words that teachers (or anyone) can use when the heat is on and the anger inside you rises up. You don’t want to insult the (annoying, angry-headed, stupid) kid, so instead, you say something that doesn’t offend anyone but they know what you mean. You can teach kids to swear like this too. Well, I mean, it’s best they didn’t know these words but you’d be surprised what they know (and are not supposed to know). This is the better and good alternative for everyone. Well, except for those people who never swear and those on tv.

Good alternatives to F$%# you

  1. Fidget spinners
  2. Brussel sprouts
  3. Tartar Sauce (Credit goes to: Spongebob)
  4. Honey, ketchup and mustard sauce in a salad
  5. Sugar, honey, iced tea
  6. Good lemon squeezers
  7. Shivers
  8. Butterflies, caterpillars, and birds
  9. Losing my marbles when I didn’t have any in the first place because my mother never bought me any
  10. Hop scotchy kazaam


These alternatives are designed to help teachers and children to not swear, not offend but still vent out their anger when “I feel” statements are not good or expressive enough in the moment of pure rage and anger.

Most of the words are random, but some of them are meant to be silly, so that anger can be replaced by laughter, when you realised that what you just said was ridiculous.

It may seem crazy, but I have this theory that in the heat of the moment, in the utter most intensity of the crisis or whatever, the best thing to do, is to be ridiculous and laugh.


I was teaching my year 1 students maths and they were getting a bit restless. I was embarrassed and angry and was about to tell them that (the angry part), when the number board fell off the table and hit the ground. I got such a shock. Then one of the boys-who-had-been-about-to-get-into-trouble, brightened up and laughed. What could I do but smile back and laugh along. What a fumble! But sometimes, you need that. You need someone to fart, or burp, or tell a ridiculous and off topic story, just to get the funny bone going.

A relaxed class is a fun class and students will more likely be able to get more work done than in an intense classroom environment.


Finland: I want to teach here

I’m studying to become a primary teacher. I’m an undergraduate which means this is my first year. I’m very interested in how different countries tackle education. Finland has proven to be very good at producing people who not only know a lot of things but have good character. They can think for themselves and essentially, are able to more easily and readily have their own identity. As a future teacher, how the Finland education system worked really interested me. It made me want to teach there. The icing on the cake or the cherry on top that really made me interested was that teachers in Finland were respected. And all the teachers in virtually every other country goes, “Heck yeah!”.

We’re not babysitters. This is not a daycare that we’re running. But we clearly don’t get the respect that teachers in Finland receive. Clearly. I particularly love how teachers use their free time to develop their pedagogy. In other words, they’re always learning about how to teach and how to do it better. Other things I loved in the video (I’ve paraphrased):

Maths teacher: I want my students to be happy

Principal: I want my students to play


Question time:

I don’t normally do this, but I’d like to hear my readers’ thoughts on this. What do you think of Finland’s education? Does this work because Finland is so small or could bigger countries adopt the Finland way?

Why teachers shouldn’t talk

Dear teachers,

Please don’t tell my son,

to be quiet, silent, still, and unmoving on the mat.

He can’t.

It’s not because he has ADHD

It’s not because he’s a boy

It’s because this method of teaching is ineffective.


If you know that teachers teach the way they were taught

then you’ll know that this is a bad way to teach

Do something else

Stop talking

Start listening

Stop lecturing

start learning


Don’t tell my son to be quiet or to be still

don’t punish him when he doesn’t comply

Have you ever thought that maybe he can’t?

Maybe nobody in the entire world could possibly

listen to a woman (or man) speak for 45 minutes in one go

Is this a corporate meeting? Or a place of learning?


Don’t tell my son how to behave, how to respond, or how to act

Show him through good modeling

But don’t make an example of him


Let me tell you something about my son,

my son is not trouble,


improperly disciplined,

naughty or mean

He’s actually a lot like me.

He just wants to talk

and I say, he should be free to do so.


Some STT time for once (student talking time),

not TTATT (teacher talking all the time)

Don’t live in the 19th century,

we’re innovative now

This is the time for creativity,



and talking in class.


Please note:                                                                                                                                          Of course, there’s a time for teachers to talk and students to listen. But I think the whole, “be quiet because I’m talking” is very old school and shouldn’t be part of an innovative classroom.